And so on...

My story continued:

  So there I was, in my junior year of college. I had spent two and a half years preparing for this next step on my path to becoming a doctor. All of a sudden, I didn't want it anymore. I remember breaking the news to my parents, if they were disappointed it certainly didn't show. In fact, I was a bit surprised at how supportive they were. My parents only wanted me to be happy. They even setup a meeting with a hospital administrator after I said that I might want to go in that direction. Turned out, I didn't. 

  I no longer was able to declare with confidence, "I'm going to be a doctor." I actually felt relieved to admit that I had no idea what I was going to do. I was getting to a place where other people's opinions didn't matter as much and I felt at ease. 

  I was talking to my Dad one day and he mentioned that my cousin had been accepted to optometry school. I didn't know much about optometry as I had only had my eyes checked once in my life. It sounded great though: only 4 more years of school and she would be a "doctor." One of the scariest things about med school had been the thought of a good 8 more years of school. That sounded like a prison sentence! I mean, I could handle 4 more years, right?

  I did some research about optometry and then quickly made up my mind. I would go to optometry school! What else was I going to do with a degree in health sciences? I certainly didn't want to be a dentist. Teeth gross me out :) 

  I breezed through the admission test and the interview. My life was figured out again. Or at least I was pretty sure it was...

Hmmmm

  Have you ever woken up and wondered what you were doing with your life? Like, how did I end up here? I can't pinpoint one day in particular, it seemingly happened gradually. This is not a new story. I know I'm not the first person who has gone through something like this. You see, I had had my whole life planned out. I would go to college and then enter medical school. I would become a compassionate and competent doctor, the type patients adored and peers envied.
  The idea was completely logical. I was a straight "A" student in high school and I especially excelled in science and math. I came from a family who valued education, which quickly became one of my values too. I'll never forget proclaiming at the ripe age of 8 that I wanted to be a hairstylist when I grew up. I mean, I loved playing with my dolls' hair, how hard could it be? To this my parents promptly replied, "you'll never make money doing that!" It was at that moment that I knew I had to do something bigger with my life. Something that would make my family proud, something prestigious.
  I idolized doctors. They were so smart and they saved lives. They were respected by the entire community. My uncle was a doctor, my grandmother a nurse. I could see how proud she was to have a doctor for a son. I wanted my parents to be that proud of me. I liked this idea so much, I didn't consider any other options.
  So off I went to start my undergrad degree in premed. It was as though it was set in stone. Along came my junior year when preparation for the MCAT, the med school admission test, crept up on me. I developed a sinking feeling as I started to study. I knew it wasn't nerves as I hadn't had problems with exams in the past. In fact, my grades were excellent, a product of long hours in the library. I just had a nagging feeling that maybe this wasn't the right path for me.
  This feeling forced me to examine my goals. Was this really what I wanted? Was I doing this for the right reason? My gut said no. It was this time in my life where I learned to listen to my gut and make some changes. More on this later...